Kerry Leads National Poll by 17 Points

Presumptive President, John F. Kerry leads the possibly mentally ill George W. Bush by 17 points in a poll conducted over the last two nights by new polling company CFP, Inc.

President and CEO of CFP, Steven Vincent, said, "I think this clearly shows that John Kerry will win the election in a landslide."

Mr. Vincent further stated that there were some irregularities during the polling which indicated that George W. Bush supporters are blatant cheaters and will do anything to win this election. "They Cheat. They are the biggest bunch of low-life, scum sucking cheating cry babies I have ever seen. Bush supporters attempted to circumvent security built into the system by repeat voting and disguising their identitites," said Mr. Vincent, "But we were able to circumvent their pathetic attempts to steal the poll by monitoring and updating our security procedures in real time."

Mr. Vincent went on to state, "This is probably a preview of what America will face in the actual election. Republicans will cheat and try to steal with sophomoric and juvenile tactics but the American people will shut them down."

The poll had a margin of error of +/- 3.5% meaning Kerry still will still win in a landslide.

Results of the poll:

Who are you voting for?

John F. Kerry (War Hero) (157) 57%
Ralph Nader (Nutjob) (9) 3%
George W. Bush (Lying Chickenhawk) (110) 40%

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