Breaking News - Big Oil is Screwing the Public 

The major oil companies are raking in obscene profits because of the continual rape of the American public. Record quarterly profits of $10 b... b... b... Billion were rolled around in naked by officials from Exxon Mobil as they squeeled with delight.

The Bush administration, the ever vigiliant watchdog for the American public, promptly acted and immediately ruled out a capital gains type tax on the oil giants. They have also ruled out any type of serious investigation into collusion, price fixing and monopolization by the oil companies, some of their biggest political contributors and plain good ole boys.

Conservatives everywhere rejoice. The free market system works and the laws of supply and demand insure that huge coorporations get ever wealthier by gouging everyone who uses their product.

You would think with all those billions rolling in every week, the oil industries could build a few new refineries. One of the excuses they repeatedly give us right before shafting us like a dry hole is that refining capacity is down and, try as they might, they just can't produce anymore.

Conservatives have been telling us for decades that big business can control itself and will conduct itself in a responsible and fair manner; that it works best without government oversight. Big oil companies have taken advantage of the free reign given them by their bought and paid for government and redistributed hundreds of billions of dollars from the working men and women of America into their own bloated bank accounts.

The continued failure of the Republican controlled government to investigate or even show interest in this looting by big oil is yet another reason why we need to vote them out of power in 2006 and 2008. At least Democratic officials act like they care and occassionally do something in the publics best interest.

A valuable lesson to the youth: Loot food, shoes, or TV's - Get arrested or shot. Loot billions from hardworking Americans and you will be praised, famous and, most of all, rich.

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